Movie Reviews: The Solosit, Dead Snow, and Splinter

Hi blogsphere,

I know, long time no speak, but I come bearing the review of a great horror flick! Actually I've seen a few movies of note, one being The Soloist, and the other being Dead Snow.

The Soloist was a bit of a letdown considering the actors and director involved, though that's not saying it's not worth watching. To me, it falls along the lines of another Slumdog Millionaire; meaning that it's a look at another lifestyle, drastically different than most of our own. Robert Downey Jr. and Jamie Foxx both play their roles well, and Joe Wright (director of Atonement) do a good job of illustrating the story, but their efforts are undermined by that of the story.

Dead Snow on the otherhand, is nothing short of b-movie goodness. I've been looking forward to seeing this, as it runs along the same lines as Hysteric Psycho, nonetheless it didn't dissapoint. With Zombie Nazis, and a forign cast, you can't really do too much wrong. The gore was over the top, the characters were cardboard, it's just a great b-movie to laugh and have fun with.

But what I just recently watched, is by far, the best horror movie I've seen in a long time.

Splinter is a nail-biting, skin crawling, scary horror film. A suburban couple decides to go on a camping trip for their anniversary, and on their way pick up a young couple whose truck has broken down. The pair are taken hostage, as it turns out the couple happen to be criminals on the run. Forced to drive to the border, they stop at a gas station to prepare, discovering it vacant. This is where their trouble begins.

I found this movie actually scary. Everything is well done. I mean everything. The special effects, the actors, the directing, I couldn't find a fault with this movie. Nothing was hokey, or cheesy about this, and the way that the settings, and characters worked with each other made everything seem believeable. That, and the suspense is so viceral, I found myself actually jumping and cringing at only 15 minutes in. Honestly, if you like horror, this is a total must watch.

Oh yeah, I've noticed that I've slacked on the comic updates. What can I say, I'm poor. I'll post more as soon as I get some things worth showing, but rest assured there will be more.

Till next time ^_^

reviews: Chanbara Beauty & Tokyo Gore Police

Good evening blogsphere,

I've got another review tonight of two movies I've been meaning to watch for awhile now: Tokyo Gore Police, and Chanbara Beauty. Before you start thinking it, yeah this is supposed to be a blog about me and my comic work, but what can I say: I don't own a computer of my own at the moment. So since I've got the time on my hands, I might as well write about something I'm doing right?

So yeah, I'm a big fan of J-movies and all things asian in general (Isn't it weird that I want to be a comic writer, and watch japanese movies? :p), and I've been waiting to see Tokyo Gore Police for awhile now. Chanbara Beauty was sort of a "why not", as it's based on a video game series over there, but strangely enough the movie is tolerable in the bounds of such (fancy that America? then again Silent Hill wasn't bad was it...oh wait, that was supervised by the Japanese too ^-^).

So Chanbara Beauty, a zombie flick based on a video game series. If you're watching movies to be cultured and such, stay very, very far away from this one; not that you can't see it coming a mile away. I can understand being misled by the title; but if you see the box art with the girl in a cowboy hat and bikini brandishing a katana with glamour lighting, and still expect this to be a thoughtful romance, do the world a favor and drown in a cup.

Overall this isn't all that great. The main character Aya is a daughter of some assassin clan, who's out for revenge against her little sister Saya for killing their dad. That and helping some crazy doctor overrun the entire world with zombies. Oddly enough this movie takes itself seriously, so you really have to watch it for action's sakes, or be a weirdo and laugh at the carnage (guilty as charged -_-) It's got some cool fight scenes, but the movie is entirely humorless, and for something like this you just can't afford to be.

Onward!

Tokyo Gore Police! Once again, if you watch this looking for a sensitive drama about a police woman and her aging father, just bury your head somewhere till you can't breath anymore (last joke like that I promise).

The story is that the Tokyo Police have been privatized to take on these crazy monster psychos called engineers. These guys have some serious body mods, as their wounds turn into weapons; (no seriously, a guy gets his face scratched and sprouts gun eyes after tearing off half his head from the teenie wound!) impervious to normal weapons (it seems at least, there's some discrepancy with that...), the only thing that can kill these guys is sheer badass, in the form of Ruka, a katana carrying cutter who takes no prisoners. She hunts the engineers in honor of her late police father (who's fate we see unfold/explode at the beginning), who's killer remains a mystery...

So this movie is pure awesomeness, very much like the Machine Girl last year (they both came out at the same time, so why do we get this one so late?), gore out the yin yang, and violence so ridiculous you can't help but laugh. It's the best parts of a Troma flick with a dash of Paul Verhoven's Robocop; meaning that it knows it's a b flick and embraces it, while entertaining the hell out of you.

Also, for the j-inclined, this was done by the same guy that did Meatball Machine, so you'll see more than a few actresses, props and characters from his works. Meatball Machine wasn't his best though...

All in all it's been a good night for movies on my end, hopefully I'll have time to watch more stuff like this later. For now it's adieu.

p.s. - If anyone knows where I can find Happy Negative Chainsaw Edge streaming, please let me know ^^

The Wrestler, and I Spit on Your Grave

Alright...my first movie reviews...scary...

-sigh- Well here goes. Alright, the Wrestler is a great movie. A great film that I didn't like, but a great film nonetheless.

The setup is that Randy the Ram is an aging professional wrestler, and while you may take that lightly, it's not a joke. I'll say this much, I never really thought much of pro wrestlers, but after seeing this I'd like to support them more. It really tackles some issues in life that I love to see addressed, and I really think that people can take a lot away from the movie. If I tell you any more about it, it'll be ruined for you though. Like I said, it's a great movie, but I didn't like it. Not because of it's quality, but because it's what I expect from Darren Aronofsky.

Don't get me wrong, he's made some of my favorite films, but for those of you who have seen Requiem for a Dream or The Fountain, won't be surprised by this movie's content. Once again, I have to drive the point home here, this is a great movie to watch, but I found it predictable considering the director. Kind of makes me fear for the Robocop remake...a little at least.

I Spit on Your Grave on the other hand, I've got no problem expounding upon. This movie is pretty vile I've got to say, and I'm not very squeamish. I was recommended it by a friend of mine, but I was expecting something different.

Honestly, I can see the merit in it's creation, but it was poorly executed. This movie prides itself on it's lengthy rape scene, which in a sick way delivers on its promise. It did make me feel disgusted, and made me feel disgusting actually sitting there to take it in.

I don't recommend this movie in any way, shape or form, unless you really need to get some horror history under your belt. And unless you're a complete freak like myself, you don't need that much horror history.

Oh yeah, I'm not going to give anything scaled ratings, I think that sort of defeats the purpose of reading anything. Well, that's my review virginity. Maybe I'll take this down after I realize how bad I am at this ^^